Ringsexuals
We are the ringsexuals; the tree’s annular ring is our forbidden lover. We are clinically mad and terrified of human love, the affection of our own wretched species. We are grateful that trees never nag us; their silence is our sanctuary. To facilitate a seamless relationship with a tree, we must first cut it down. We treat trees with a pathological attachment and a fetishistic obsession.
We consummate our bond only after the tenth ring; we are treephiles and ringphiles. We embrace the trunk, felling it only when its diameter pulses with the message of a perfect, erotic dialect. We remain skeletal, the better to pour our worship into the unyielding trunk. We are indifferent to leaves and flowers; we crave only the visceral exposure of the rings for our gratification. We possess an R-spot that vibrates in sympathy with the tree’s very center.
Our community swells daily, mirroring the runaway growth of the world's population and the systematic stripping of the Amazon. Our ranks encompass politicians, CEOs, the illiterate, industrial farmers, and the military elite. Among us are Ring-sexologists, dedicated to exploring the cartography and madness of arboreal desire.
We are ringsex activists, prepared to defend our monocultures by the barrel of a gun if necessary. Seduction is found in the felling; we prefer the rhythmic bite of the axe to prolong the tree’s final climax. The chainsaw is reserved exclusively for centenary trees, sacred relics for our most profane ringsexual rituals.
Ringsexuality is an identity; for those who find no human peer, the tree's motionless behavior makes it the perfect prey for our fractured psyches. We demand our place in the identity alphabet as the “R” in LGBTQ-R+; we are omnipresent and unapologetically polyamorous. We nurture these perversions, delusions by design, merely to assert that Nature belongs to us. The ring is the self; therefore, ringsex is all.
I vow to tear you down, my beloved, until death merges my flesh with your splintered remains.
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