Official EU Letter of Invitation To An Oppressor

European Union

Department of Foreign Affairs

The Ignorant Secretary of Injustice Affairs

To Your Fundamentalist Excellencies,

I have the distinct dishonor to refer to Your Fundamentalist Leaders of the Oppressed Nation of Afghanistan regarding the urgent need to modify the existing host of Afghan refugees who fled your unkind treatment, particularly your creative approach to women’s rights.

However, we can no longer accommodate them within our increasingly fragmented Union, largely due to the conveniently ambiguous policies of our member states. In this complicated context, I wish to suggest, by force, that our Agreement on the deportation of your nationals be formally ratified, as proposed in the memorandum of strained relations between both parties.

I take this awful opportunity to express to Your Fundamentalist Excellency my desire to host you on our continent. We must strengthen our convenient ties, born primarily from our dwindling influence in every other territory of the world.

Accept this opportune invitation for image cleansing, along with the assurance of my highest political manipulation and cynical schemes.

The Useful Taliban-EU Office

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