Let the Investigation Games Begin

Satirical political cartoon depicting world leaders and coronavirus swirling inside a golden toilet, symbolizing political chaos and the next global power shift.

One knows what a bad investment is when the return is naught. Elon Musk is probably having a heart attack right now and preparing his bags back to South Africa or another country where he can buy elections or support another “wanna-be” dictator. This dude spent $474 million, of which $224 million was poured into the Texas Senate race, backing the Republican Ken Paxton. He lost to the Democrat seminarian James Talarico. Musk moved to Texas to dodge taxes; now his future is uncertain alongside the tech-bros.

Democrats won control of the Senate and the House. This means, from January 3, hopefully, a pile of subpoenas for the tech-bros over their allergies to AI regulation and the ugly data centers. With them, the whole MAGA world faces investigations for corruption schemes, including Trump’s own family. Although billionaires injected all that money to prevent oversight and regulation, the mere mortals just showed them the middle finger.

Take Musk and his DOGE nightmare. Inside the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, Musk slept in his DOGE office; meanwhile, the staff camped in IKEA beds in the GSA building to live up to his tweet about 120-hour workweeks. Investigations from the Senate subcommittee reported $21.7 billion in wasted money. He spends government funds like a compulsive buyer. He must be seeking shelter to avoid the incoming Congressional subpoenas and having to answer questions under oath completely sober. The best for him would be to leave the country, his companies and “civil-war” children.

Other departments face imminent oversight. One of them is the Secretary of Unfinished Wars and Testosterone Detector, Peter Hegseth. There’s already a pending resolution: the April Democratic resolution led by Yassamin Ansari in the House with six charges: First, the unauthorized war against Iran. Second, violation of war laws by targeting civilians: 168 killed, including school girls in Iran. Third, negligence and reckless handling of military information: we all remember the Signal group in which an Atlantic journalist accidentally was added. Fourth, obstruction of congressional oversight. Hegseth is a former Fox anchor, not a lawmaker. Fifth, abuse of power and politicization of the armed forces. More than politicizing them, it felt like proselytizing and gender-phobic. And Sixth, conduct bringing disrepute upon the country and the armed forces, testing testosterone levels and almost forcing every soldier to tattoo the Deus Vult mark on themselves.

Donald Trump now will have to work as sitting president for the first time; his golf rounds are postponed until 2028 or before. As he loves to make deals, he’ll seek at any cost that none of his friends (the tech-bros) and family members will testify before Congress. They lack the cognitive capacity to defend their own wrongdoings, and reading a script is not enough to save their asses from criminal referrals. Trump paved this road himself. He’s walking directly toward his third impeachment. A presidential record.

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