The Truth I Can’t Accept About Public Education

The founding fathers of our dying Republic understood the theory of human capital, a concept that we, the anarcho-libertarians, admire so much but understand so little, myself most of all. Despite the monumental work of our great Domingo Faustino Sarmiento at our dawn as a free nation to completely eliminate illiteracy, some still dare to remind us of the power of public education and the richness of our academic history.

These fellows are the exact same ones who attempt to rebel against private, privileged education; they’re the same ones who try to block us from eradicating public universities and scholarships. They’re the ones who tell the student community that they have rights and a future, when our job, and mine specifically, is to shatter those illusions in order to cultivate an obedient, unthinking society. And really, what’s wrong with that?

We’ve also seen people attacking our cultural, social, and economic model of equality, inclusion, and justice, concepts that allegedly dragged Argentina back to the barbaric times of the Welfare State. Just to look at some factual data: in 2023, 66.5% of primary school students achieved satisfactory or advanced levels of learning, with just a slight drop in math. But we know we’re not a mathematical culture; even I can't handle complicated numbers and have a degree in economics. Anyway, moving forward to other subjects like language, it’s hardly surprising that only 4 out of 10 students struggle. Of course, we inherited Borges, Mistral, and Cortázar, along with so many other masters of language, not only in Spanish but also in English or French.

Now to the most favorite problem: poverty. My government relentlessly works on this every day by slashing public funds and fueling inflation, all so I can hoard more public money into my own pocket and those of my friends, like that crypto-outfit, $Libra. The statistics are crystal clear: 7 out of 10 children under 14 years old are poor. We’re glad that number hasn’t changed since 2024, and we fully expect to increase it in the coming years.

We see that this Welfare State system is an absolute failure, and we’re right here to end a century-long tradition of literacy and education for all. Someone has to pay for the corruption, and it’s certainly not going to be us.

The ugly truth in Argentina is that the public university offers an education to those who can’t afford the exorbitant fees of private institutions, which exclusively school the sons and daughters of the elite, if they choose to study in the country. The reality of public education lies in funding lower-income students using the taxes paid by the wealthy.

We, I, simply cannot accept this reality because it means all my anarcho-libertarian beliefs are just intellectual masturbation to ignite controversy while the country sinks faster than the Titanic.

For more satirical news, visit Samsara News!