To Conquer: Our Modern Pirate’s Desire
Every game, whether video or tabletop, has the same objective: to control everything. We’ve played Monopoly with cousins, games that ruined bonds because of our greed to own every property and mortgage we came across. We’ve played Risk and spent countless hours trying to conquer the world simply because it was fun. We’ve played Age of Empires and so on.
Imagine that almost every child in the Western world, having received a classic education and being able to afford these games, grew up with this profound need for competition and greed. It is a thorough development, molding them into something akin to mercenaries or pirates whose only focus is conquest and money.
But how and when did we get here? And who are our modern conquerors? In ancient times, we heard of the adventures of Magellan, Marco Polo, or Barbarossa. They traveled the oceans, making names for themselves through their odysseys. We knew them from books, journey chronicles, and adventure poetry. It was exciting to be “in the same boat" as these characters, learning from their profound desire to conquer and their willingness to negotiate, or steal, every piece of gold the docks offered during their travels.
Nowadays, the conqueror pirates have transformed into pop divas and corporate CEOs disguised as politicians and world leaders. It’s a matter of observation: when we see Donald “Nappy-Toddler” Trump and his pawns, like Instagram influencers, talking about controlling Venezuela or Greenland, you can’t help but laugh, until something real happens, prompting their blind followers to throw even more likes and comments at their content.
On the other hand, we have the neo-mafia power (Jewish, Chinese, and Russian style), perhaps a bit closer to our Monopoly era or medieval pirates. Each “patrón” has their own driving force; it isn’t likes and promises. They go directly for the target with hardcore military missions, nuclear threats, and concentration camps until the conquest is complete.
In the end, as stated at the beginning, the aim remains the same: to fulfill the dream of conquering the world. Geopolitics experts like Halford Mackinder once said, “Who rules East Europe, commands the Heartland; Who rules the Heartland, commands the World-Island; Who rules the World-Island, commands the World”. Regarding the “Heartland," that geographic zone is composed of Central Asia and Eastern Europe. Bibi, Donny, Vladi, and Co. are taking this quite seriously. The table is set for the next battle; who is going to hit first?
For more satiric news, visit our section of Samsara News!
