The Most Expensive Bench Misunderstanding

The crowd was chanting his name; they knew the team had hemorrhaged 300 million euros for Mbappé. The illusion of grandeur persisted, having the world's most expensive player, yet his presence on the bench was a neon sign signaling that all that wealth had been tossed directly into the bin.

The player accosted the coach before the match could conclude:  

Mbappé: Coach! Alvaro! Hey!

Arbeloa: I can’t hear you over the crow’s sound! I’m at risk now!

Mbappé: I need some minutes for the cameras!

Arbeloa: What?!

Mbappé: You paid for the optics, not the trophies! I’ve got them all already. I need to play!

Arbeloa: Not yet! It’s the fourth time this game. Wait until the moment strikes!

Mbappé: I’m the fourth?!

Arbeloa: Yes, the fourth time!

Mbappé: I thought I was the first!

Arbeloa: Not the first! The first has passed us by. It’s the fourth!

Mbappé: Mon Dieu! Pourquoi suis-je le quatrième?! Why the fourth?

Arbeloa: What?! I still can’t hear you!

Mbappé: Oh, so now I’m the fourth striker. What is the media going to think of me?! 

For more satirical news, visit Samsara News!