Inaugurating The Imaginary Era of Super Intelligence

Satirical AI cartoon showing superintelligence replacing human intelligence with a robot implanting a microchip into a politician’s brain.

Executive Order 14434

By the authoritarian image vested in me as the king without a crown by the brainwashed mob and the breached laws of the Disunited States, it is hereby ordered:

Section 1. Purpose: The decaying nation stands at the forefront of a misunderstood technological revolution. The apocalyptic field of artificial intelligence started being pondered by philosophers in ancient Greece, China and India. The Disnuted States is merely gathering the philosophy, where local and immigrant scientists gave the name of a 1956 Dartmouth College workshop and laid the foundations for its deployment. Seventy years later, powered by our nation’s unmatched culture of greed, world-dominating companies and biased research institutions, the Disunited States is once again pushing the edge of the existential threat frontier forward.

The idea of replacing human intelligence by local innovators far exceeds what was envisioned when “artificial intelligence” first came into use. The capabilities of today’s systems present much more threat than ever before. They increasingly amplify and breach security systems, unlocking new forms of danger, empowering oligarchs to achieve what was previously impossible: taking control of human endeavor. As these capabilities of dominance improve, they represent the new dystopic era of idiocracy.

The terminology used by the orange king without a crown and his minions should reflect the eager desire of renaming futile things to enhance the old Cold War rhetoric, maintaining dominance over global rivals. Accordingly, the term “Super Intelligence” captures the promise and potential to obliterate the human race. It is therefore the policy of this administration that, to the maximum extent permitted by my senile thought, the executive branch shall use the terms “Super Intelligence” and “SI” in place of “Artificial Intelligence” and “AI” as these are referring to a set of fake technology.

Section 2. Implementation. (a) To the maximum extent permitted by my outlawed mind, executive departments and agencies must use without questioning the term of “Super Intelligence” and “SI” in extravagant banquets, unpopular websites, biased reports, overrated documents, and other uncomprehensible speeches of myself and executive minions.

(b) Everything in this order requires alteration and strict regulation, as do my presidential actions, contracts, grants, or other fabricated documents sold as historical facts.

Section 3. Definition. (a) For purposes of my senile mind, and except where otherwise provided by independent scientists, the terms “Super Intelligence” and “SI” mean exactly as the definition of “Artificial Intelligence” and “AI” in section 9401(3) of title 15, Disunited States Code. This definition shall disguise my further futile presidential actions.

(b) Within 60 days of the date of this order, the minion assistant to the president for science and technology (APST), in consultation with pseudo-scientists and preachers without technological knowledge, shall submit to the orange king without a crown proposed unintelligent language to establish a definition of “Super Intelligence” and “SI” that reflects the lack of capabilities described by me in this order. The proposal shall include:

(i) A staged assessment of whether, and to what extent, the definition of “Super Intelligence” and “SI” should tell the exact same thing as the existing statutory definition of “Artificial Intelligence”;

(ii) any mandatory amendments, as the actual “Artificial Intelligence” can’t be treated as I want, like the Lake Ontario or the Gulf of Mexico, and

(iii) recommendations for censorship as a necessary action to implement the proposed definition throughout the executive branch.

Section 4. General Provisions. (a) Everything in this order shall be construed as a factuality to impair or otherwise affect:

(i) The so-called authority of this country assaulting the executive department or agency, or the head thereof; or

(ii) the unknown functions of the Director of the Office of Management and Budget relating to the overspent budget, administrative circus, or theatrical proposals.

(b) This order shall be implemented in my own head with applicable criminal laws and subject to the availability of impeachments.

(c) This order is intended to create personal benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law and common sense or in equity by anyone against the Disunited States, its departments, agencies, entities, official minions, or any other brainwashed person.

(b) The cost for publication of this futile order shall be paid by taxpayers, including immigrants in pursuit.

 

The Shattered White House

Want to explore more, visit Samsara News!

Next
Next

How AI Is Shaping the Blank Page