Operation Distraction: When the Files are Coming, Bomb the Caribbean

There is a well-known political strategy that those in power employ to cloak their scandals. While many simply manufacture a fresh controversy or break a massive news story to crash the news cycle, others vanish entirely, faking their own deaths to leave no tracks behind.

Then there is the eternal saga of Epstein. This network of crimes committed by our “mad world elite" seems destined to haunt us forever. Every character named on “The List" has offered a myriad of excuses regarding their links to Jeffrey, feigning ignorance of his predilections and cravings for young lovers. 

But one character matters above all: Mr. Donald “Napping-Toddler" Trump, President and Commander-in-Chief of the United States. He has been desperately seeking coverage and distractions to overshadow his appearance on the infamous list. Needless to say, pictures, videos, and emails suggest they were the best of buddies.

Every time the Democrats release more detailed information about this “beautifully evil" relationship, Trump immediately scrambles for a topic to bury the scandal, scattering the public's attention. Thus, he invents wars to end. Then, he forces people to award him peace prizes because the Nobel committee wouldn't. Or, he simply starts bombing whatever land he hears about during security briefings (the ones where he usually naps), deciding they need “special attention" from the Freedom Army.

And this is how we landed in Venezuela, once one of the world's most important economies. The country is in the hands of gangsters who have sucked the system dry in the name of Simón Bolívar’s revolution. They have held power for 28 years and counting. Since the capture of the “elected dictator" Nicolás Maduro, his Vice President, Delcy Rodriguez, continues to run the sham government. Despite this chaos, they sit upon the world's largest oil reserves, along with the rare minerals that we humans so love to exploit and destroy. 

Here lies the entanglement: Trump needed an escape hatch from the Epstein files. Nicolás Maduro and his gang were the perfect match. The excuse? Connecting the gang to cocaine trafficking and terrorism (perhaps true, but we dislike assumptions). The US Department of Justice released arrest warrants for the gang, “dead or alive," with multi-million dollar rewards. 

Therefore, the next logical step was harassment: destroying every boat off the Venezuelan coast and docking the US Navy in the Caribbean to await the final order. Bomb the cities! Put on a show so the world starts talking about explosions rather than the files.

Let us remind the President of his best friend’s “biography" of him, unearthed from the email archives: “He feels alone. and is nuts !!! , I told everyone from day one. evil beyond belief mad, and most thought i was speaking metaphorically, its obvious he could crack. stormy daniels. ? lies after lies after lies."