Modern Caligula is About to Fall
Albert Camus painted a fantastic portrait of Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, a.k.a. Caligula, in his famous play. With witty language, the writer depicted the Roman Emperor as a madman, greedy and completely out of control in his power over Rome. He died stabbed by a conspiracy of the Praetorian Guard, senators, and aristocrats who craved power and waited for the precise moment to commit regicide.
After Trump’s speech at Davos, his inner circle, the surrounding vultures, saw their moment, just like the Praetorians and the Roman elite. Several misleading phrases, as usual, played out in the conference room. But there was one phrase in particular that our modern American Praetorian scavengers heard. The recurring dream of conquering Greenland became the world’s laughingstock when our dying Caligula confused it with Iceland, not just once, but the entire concept.
Washington D.C. has now become the headquarters of a regicide conspiracy. The throne is starting to look like a vacant post, and the Emperor is heading towards the exit door of glory. Finally, the devil is setting the scene for the final act. In fact, we are starting to witness little pushes from Trump's “most reliable friend," E. Musk. He financed a huge part of the presidential campaign, offering people one million dollars to vote for the ruler, and was then nominated as advisor of the infamous DOGE. However, in the same event at Davos, he mocked the creation of the “Board of Piece [Peace]".
It’s a clear signal to the rest of the pack. The first one to sharpen his beak is the Vice President, JD Vance. He looks at his boss with those “eyeliner eyes", waiting for the arteries to clog so he can use his lack of intelligence to perpetuate the coup.
Second in line is the Secretary of State. In the eyes of the KKK, Marco Rubio should be sent back to his island; he’s “not white enough" for the white supremacists. He plays the follower, though, answering any conspiracy with low-key, insecure leadership. Nonetheless, his role in the coup could be decisive. He’s the one keeping the scene untouched, distracting Caligula with nonsense and talking as much as the Emperor naps.
Another runner is the “Homeland Insecurity" advisor, Stephen Miller. Like Vance, his role as an extremist is well known, and his desire for power is visible every time he grabs a microphone. Though, he might end up fighting over Caligula’s dead body with the VP. It’s a matter of who can come out of the closet faster.
Then we have other vultures keeping their gaze from the air, waiting for a signal. There’s Pete Hegseth (Secretary of Destruction), Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (Secretary of Disease), and Kristi Noem (Homeland Botox Secretary). We can also add some folks from the Trump family who see an opportunity to seize the falling empire, like Donald Jr. or Eric.
In many ways, Caligula’s behavior was quite like our modern one: tyrant, egocentric, extravagant, perverted, and a friend of pedophiles. He is heading towards the final line of life. Even if he thinks he is injected with immortality, his senile mind has already compromised the Empire. The scavengers are very close to his agonizing corpse. It’s just a matter of time.
For more satiric news, visit our section Samsara News!