Aliens Don’t Like Bullies
Bullies are everywhere, from the kindergarten playground to the halls of government. You’ll find them in the office, at the supermarket, or weaving through traffic in the emergency lane. They are most visible at the intersection of business and politics, places where their dominance is on full display.
Like mafia gangsters, bullies only act when backed by power: their resources and the sycophants who support them. Strip those away, and you are left with nothing more than insecure individuals whose childish behavior is masked by a thin veneer of ignorance.
In our current geopolitical landscape, these bullies are easily exposed by their media-hungry obsession with showing the world how “good” they are at the game. Take our two major players: Donald “Nap-Toddler” Trump and Vladimir “The Immortal Botox” Putin. Both are entering their late 70s or 80s and were forged in the fires of the Cold War. One represents the mafia-capitalist bully; the other, a Soviet-mafia hybrid. We could also look at Xi “The Other Eternal” Jinping, Kim “Can’t Get Any Fatter” Jong-Un, Ali “God’s Bully” Khamenei, or Bibi “I Love to Kill” Netanyahu (but these are out of contest for the moment).
Every move these grandpas make is calculated to consolidate global power. One has invaded Ukraine, citing historical grievances and NATO expansion; the other has supported Israel’s genocide in Gaza, launched strikes against Venezuela, and bombed targets in Iran and the Caribbean Sea. Domestically, he has flooded U.S. streets with ICE agents and military personnel, though judges occasionally block him, and is now fixated on his beloved dream: invading and annexing Greenland.
What about the rest of the world? Who on this agonizing Earth can stop the bullies? Is it the United Kingdom, playing the role of the US’s former colonizer-father? Or the European Union, can they finally pivot from a mere economic and cultural bloc to an active protective force, if their bureaucratic collective mind allows it? Could Africa and Latin America, united by their history as victims, finally confront the bullies together? What of Australia? Japan? South Korea? Or are we all simply too terrified to act? Trump and Putin both rely on the ultimate deterrent: nuclear weapons. These two have buttons that could erase all life in seconds, and no nation is willing to bear the guilt of triggering a planetary collapse.
What about the real aliens (not the humans classified as such just because they weren’t born on U.S. soil). We have the technology to call for intergalactic backup. Perhaps they could save us from these bullies so we could finally breathe peacefully. But uncertainty is an old friend; with all this high technology, maybe our interplanetary allies are simply watching to see how long it takes us to implode.
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