Putin & Zelenskyy's Unfertile Amplexus

Putin and Zelenskyy doing the Amplexus mating of frogs as an image of the ongoing war.

When frogs mate, the male grasps the female to fertilize her eggs. This process, which can last from days to weeks, is known as Amplexus. In fact, several males often join the equation, competing to be the first to deliver heirs to the wilderness throne. While the exercise is exhaustive for the competitors, the female bears the brunt of this mad energy. She can die from the struggle and the violence of the moment. Of course, this biological desperation finds a grim parallel in the fourth anniversary of the Russian invasion of Ukraine.

The analogy holds as our two “toads," Putin and Zelenskyy, continue their relentless, copulating dance. The male, represented here by Russia with all its brutal power and lack of intelligence, has yet to realize that after four years of fruitless striving, the fertility of his deeds is in question. Perhaps the Soviet era exhausted the supply, and the leftovers, those Putin tries to preserve like a loyal son of the KGB, are simply futile for the mating process.

On the other hand, we have Zelenskyy the female: a “comedian toad" enduring the brunt of the Russian assault alongside his own government's internal corruption. He has successfully deferred local elections, ostensibly due to the “mating season," thereby guaranteeing himself more years in power. Consequently, despite the contexts of war and corruption, he remains the face of a nation that has lived under the shadow of Russia since the creation of the USSR. The more the Russians impose their violence, the more of the Ukrainians set their identity away from theirs. 

After four years of bombs and sorrow, the landscape is a wreck: children are without schools and families are without homes, all devastated by the power of nonsense. Where are we heading? As noted, after the Amplexus, the female may die or be left entirely depleted by the unpleasant activity. Once the male has finished his work, he simply moves on to find another mate.

It’s probable that, at some point, Putin will back off. One could argue his age hinders his performance (many of his allies have already been overthrown while he stood by), or perhaps he is simply ill-equipped for this specific Amplexus. The female is not ready, and she won't be anytime soon. This will eventually require the difficult acceptance of the lack of fertility on both sides; there will be no offspring from this violent mating process, only a hard strike to the egos of our toads.

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