The Prom King and Queen

It’s Prom Night, and politicians, those quintessential high school bullies, certainly know how to woo their queens. Before the grand event in the main venue, the “wanna-be" prom kings cast their gaze upon the most coveted crown in the room. Bets are whispered in the hallways; strategies are mapped in silence to conquer the night.

Some of these deeds are questionable at best. The rhetoric ranges from the coy, “I’m not doing anything; I’ll just wait until the prey sits near me”, to the backhanded, “She’s ugly, you know, but she has winning potential”. This’s the dance Friedrich Merz is currently performing vis-à-vis Vladimir Putin.

On the campaign trail, the current German Chancellor was all fire and brimstone. He branded Putin a war criminal. He puffed out his chest, declaring that Germany was no one’s pawn, and issued a 24-hour ultimatum: end the invasion, or the Taurus missiles start flying. But looking at the dance floor now, one wonders: who is the queen, and who is the king?

Merz’s arrogant posture casts him as the alpha male of the gym, while Putin, flirting with other bullies in the corner, positions himself as the belle of the ball. Whenever the Russia-Ukraine topic was raised, Merz mumbled moral support for the “poor invaded country". He declared Putin an existential threat to Europe, a modern-day Hitler intent on devouring the continent.

Then, suddenly, Merz changed.

The smooth talk began, the whispering, the fluttering eyelashes, the notes passed under the desk, and the rosy blush of the cheeks as the waltz began. The dance floor shifted in January 2026. In his New Year’s address, Merz celebrated a “new beginning," arguing that “Russia is a European country; we must create a balance where peace prevails and freedom is guaranteed". Putin, it seems, heard the beautiful words of a man who knows exactly how to betray his own ideals for a dance.

The floor is now cleared for the room’s newest power couple. Perhaps Trump and Zelensky will follow suit, both eager for the evening crown. That is how our politicians play their roles in the geopolitical arena: they present themselves as fierce samurais to their constituents, but once they’ve secured the title and the spotlight, they turn soft and tender. Meanwhile, outside the dance floor, there is only sorrow, abandonment, and the lingering scent of tragedy.

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