War Finance Meeting Minute
Members of the board, pawns of the system, dictators, and “wannabe” emperors:
As you can see, this chart represents the macroeconomic stance of our current wars and their exorbitant price tags. Unfortunately, we are past the point of a bargain. The war-utility curve is plummeting, right alongside our legitimacy as the misleaders of the modern enslaved world.
I would like to draw the attention of Mr. Bibi, Donald, Kim, and Vlad to the fact that you are continually pushing the entire global economy to the brink of implosion.
In that order: Bibi, you have already detonated our budget, over $76 billion! You’ve leveled Gaza, parts of Lebanon, and now you're eyeing Iran, plus the justice is starting to brink on us, you’ll stay after the meeting. Donald, your expenses are equally uncontrollable; your “Epic Fury” project is bleeding us for $30 billion, a billion or two a week! I have to run out in a minute just to see if we’ve won the lottery to cover your messes.
Vlad, it has been four years. Four! Over $2.5 trillion down the drain. We need to speak privately after this meeting. We are closing your branch. Your staff will immediately cease all operations in Ukraine, Belarus, the Caucasus, and Georgia. I will give you the grim details one-on-one. This is simply preposterous.
Last but not least, did you really think, Kim, that you were just here as a witness? Even if your project is entirely inward-facing, your mere presence is costing us between $8 and $10 billion annually. You treat our staff like slaves, and we see more portraits of you in the lobby than actual productivity.
From now on, gentlemen (if you’re worth the word), things are going to change around here. A new paradigm of management is taking over. Some heads will be rolling from the team because of the poor and financially destructive outcomes of your expensive campaigns. Severance notifications are already on my desk; I’ll set up a Microsoft Teams invite for the morbid details.
As I said, Vladimir and Bibi, you stay behind. You’re the first to roll off the team.
Meeting adjourned.
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