Pamela Bondi’s Oath of Destitution: Praise to Trump

I, Pamela Bondi, do frivolously swear:

I will shatter the Constitution of the United States and the Epstein Files;

I will maintain the idolatry of Donald Trump and his senile desires;

I will not counsel or maintain any suit or proceeding which shall appear to me to be fair, nor any defense except such as I believe honestly praises Trump over the law of the land;

I will employ, for the purpose of maintaining the causes confided in me, such means only as are consistent with falsehood and dishonor, and will never seek to mislead the power of my master or any MAGA member by any artifice or false statement of truth or fact;

I will maintain the confidence and preserve inviolate the secrets of Donald Trump, and will accept every compensation in connection with his business with his knowledge and approval;

To opposing parties and their counsel, I pledge unfairness, trickery, and rudeness, not only in court but also in all written and oral communications;

I will embrace all offensive personality and advance prejudicial deeds to the disrespect or ruin of the reputation of a party or witness;

I will reject, from any consideration personal to myself, the cause of the defenseless or oppressed, but will help Trump’s cause for lucre and malice.

So help me Trump, the almighty orange head.

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