Declaration of a Defeat

“In this official obituary for a falling empire, I hereby certify the death of the Almighty Dollar as the world’s default prayer. It was a fantastic, terrifying run. For decades, we subjugated every shore, forcing the world to trade its “golden” soul and “black blood” for our Masonic pyramid-stamped stationery. This paper alchemy allowed us to hold the global throat; even our eternal Eastern rivals had to choke down our rules and bow to our sanctions.

But now, guided by my own senile intuition, choreographed by the shadow-play of my conscious masters, I can finally say: We have lost. Despite the infinite wars I’ve both ignited and “extinguished,” this empire no longer has the spine to hold its seat at the head of the table.

My crowning achievement? The unnecessary pokes at the Islamic Republic of the Mullahs. My ego’s quest for the swiftest war in history has shattered against the closure of the world’s most vital oil artery. By my hand, our enemies have been liberated from the Greenback, forced to settle their accounts in any tongue but ours. I, the senile emperor of a dissolving kingdom, take full credit for this collapse. I hereby concede the throne to the Surveillance Republic of China. Let the Yuan, the Euro, the Yen, and the Pound fight over the scraps of my chair.

I am proud of these ruins. I usher the world toward this terminal turning point with a grin. Thus, I can go to my rest now, I believe my old friend Epstein is already holding the door for me at the gates of Gehenna”.

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